Falling
by Aarati
Summary: First time Gaara sees Naruto...he falls in hate. What does he fall in hate with? Can Naruto change his mind? narugaa boy on boy YAOI finally COMPLETE..I THINK
1. Falling in Hate

Falling in Hate

The first time I saw him was at the chunin exams. It was during the written exam. I was sitting with my siblings at my either side making conversation with each other as he burst in to the room with his friends. He was loud, his eyes shining and bright, his smile seemed to radiate from somewhere within him making his skin glow. The way he walked was so careless and casual, not at all the way a ninja should behave. At contrast with his brass self, his soft blond hair shining softly was in a dishevel help up by his forehead protector; some tendrils had fallen loose and were over his eyes. That did not excuse his garish choice of clothes; Orange. All he wore were orange. I hated him. I hated him. I hated him.

It wou8ld have been so easy to kill him right then and there. His stupid face about to burst because he could not breath. I licked my lips at the image. I hadn't felt such a rush in a long time.

I looked up from my musings and my sea green eyes met his violet ones and our eyes held. I could not look away; I was entranced by the violet-blue eyes that I hate. Then, he did something that was unforgivable, and made me hate him more if that was possible. His eyes softened, his violet-blue yes changing into a non-offensive color of baby blue and his mouth turned up in a small, sad smile his body visibly deflating. He did not look scared as if I sated and glared at him. He did not look away in discomfort as my eyes roamed his body and face and I stabbed daggers into his body with my eyes. Instead he looked like he understood. Like, he understood how Sabaku no Gaara felt. Like he knew exactly how he felt at the mercy of the villagers. My hands tightened in a fist, my sand forming a shield or armor to protect or to harm. Then he broke the eye contact, his eyes shifting to my tattoo over my eyes. He lifted his had to his stomach and unconsciously started rubbing it. He looked down, caught himself at the act, and let out a small laugh that made one of his companions smack him on the head. He resumed talking loudly to others around him, sparing me a fleeting glance once in a while, while I could not tear my eyes from him. I hate him.

I look up from my test and look at the bright eyed boy. I hate him. I want to kill him. I want to take his life, make him suffer like I did. It is a mantra now. I hate him. I hate him. How can he look like he understood, like he knows exactly how I feel? If he knows, then how can he smile? How can he not feel the blood lust and hate everyone around him? He knows nothing and I shall show him all that he does not know. All my pain transferred to him as his happy existence flashes in front of his life. I put the pencil down and look at him again. He has his head down, exposing his golden, fragile neck. He puts his head up suddenly, looks around the room, when spots me. His face flushes as if he was caught doing something he should no have been doing. He smiles again, but this time like he is expecting me to understand him. His hand goes on his stomach again. He looks down, looks back up at me and grins. I don't understand this boy. But he is interesting. Killing him would be a waste of entertainment.

Although that does not change the fact that I hate him. That's right. I hate him. I hate his violet-blue eyes that softened for me. I hate his blond, messy longish hair that makes me want to touch it-just to see how it feels. I hate that he talks so much and his full red lips move so fast. I hate that his baggy orange suit he wears hides how he is underneath. I hate his beautiful graceful neck that anyone could snap in half. I hate his long fingers that rake his hair. There is so much more I hate. But the simple fact is I hate him


	2. Falling in Like

Falling in Like

I waited patiently at the arena. My opponent by the name of Sasuke Uchiha was not here as of yet. I looked up at the balconies full of people talking and whispering about what was going on and how Uchiha was late. I scanned the whole area, my eyes got caught by a shock of blond hair. A corner of my mouth twitched up involuntarily. Stop Hold it. I smoothed out my face. What the hell was that? I looked away and looked up again at the bright haired boy, fully in control of my muscles, my chest relaxed and my usually erratic heart beat fell into a smooth motion of life. I liked that. My mouth formed a frown. Something was wrong with me. I…do not…like...anything. I decide at that moment that it was fine time that he got checked by a healer-nin. I suppressed a shudder. NO matter how much they seem to fear me, I don't like to be anywhere near them or their instruments. Are you assuming that I, Gaara of the Sand am afraid of Healers? Well, you are wrong, not you are right. I am allowed to confide with my self. Yes, and if you are shocked you heard right. The Great Gaara, a container of the demon tanuki who lusted after blood is afraid of hospitals and doctors. I shivered again but let it play out this time. I just hate the smell and um..everything. I looked away from the bright as the sunshine blonde and my body went back to normal. By normal, I mean, my body without my saying(again), tensed up, ready to strike anyone. I don't like this. I like the other feeling I got. I looked up again, my mouth twitching up again and let it happen and prayed that nobody saw this admission. I liked this feeling he gave me.

Sasuke Uchiha walked in. We started to fight. ~time skip. We all know what happened here and if you don't go watch the anime or read the manga~ I looked down at my hands where a burst of red of bubbling out. Red as my hair, red as my tattoo which rests on my forehead. "Blood!!!" I scream. I am terrified, but you all know that. I have never seen my own blood. I have seen others' blood ooze out and their soul floating over their bodies refusing to go to the next world. But the demon always kept me safe. My heart started to beat faster, faster, accelerating to a high I've never been to. The inside of my mind is a chaos. I withdrew into my head and the demon tired to take over my body trying to win freedom. I knew I couldn't let that happen. But I was so weak ther was nothing I could do. I thought about my blond, and my body relaxed. I thought how he smiled and how the sunshine never seem to stray from his path. I want his sunshine bright to shine upon me. So, I fought him the demon and I did not take notice of what was happening around me except for in the back of my head I could see it so clearly.

When chaos reigned my head, it had reigned the ouside too. Ninjas were fighting, trying to protect and save. Others were fleeing, trying to save their lives. Cries rung out here and there. He won and I let go. I was losing, then I felt two hands on myself. Temari and Kankuro. We flew off, from a tree to the next. I don't remember much after. I was still fighting within my self but my body was fighting the outsiders. In the forest, I was cracking. I was about to jump off the imaginary cliff. I was still fighting with Sasuke. Kankuro had stayed behind to fight others. I cracked. I was held precariously by a thread. I wasn't totally in control anymore. He had control too. I felt the sand envelope me. It wasn't like the others time. Comforting and keeping me safe, now it was intruding trying to take control at my most vulnerable moment.

Flash of light. His chidori tore through me. My body jolted. My head raced. I had never felt this much pain. I screamed. The tanuki laughed. He loved the pain. He wanted more. The tanuki pokes and prods at Sasuke. I am just watching. I can do nothing else. I am in the confines of my head, caged. My body launches at Sasuke, some thing so bright stands ground against me. My bright eyed angel.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!" I scream inside. I did not want to hurt him. No stop. Stop. The Tanuki wants to hurt him, kill him, break him and keep him. The tanuki wants something inside of him to be free. What? What? I prod at Tanuki. He pushes me aside. His attention on my sunshine boy. I am blinded. The tanuki takes over completely. I don't what has happened.

Sunshine boy. Would you shower your warmth onto me? Would you let me know how you know how I feel? Bright angel, the one who was banished from the foresasken sky, would you let me keep you? For I so wish to keep you. Are these the Tanuki's thoughts or mine? I cannot decipher. We both want one and the same thing. "**No**" the Tanuki says. "**Not the same thing. I want what is inside of him. You want what is him**." Oh. I see. But I don't really understand.

I still can't see what is going on. I am floating. The tanuki is here beside of me. Concentrating. What separates us is nothing. Yet I relinquish control of my body to him. If I tried to take back what is mine now, I would not know how to operate it. So, I float from a thought to the next. I just hope my sunshine body will be ok. Will he be ok? "**Hn. He should be fine."** What are you trying to do? "**I'm trying to bring him out.**" Bring what out? "** You don't need to know now.**" Alright. You shall tell me later.

I think of my bright angel. I have nothing else to do. His bright hair, that is the reincarnation of the sun. His blue-violet eyes, they seem to see me. Not the sand, which is cloaking me but what is underneath. Then does he know? Does he know what I have in me. "**He does not. He can see me.**" Oh, how he must hate me for it. Does he care? Is he is everyone else? Why should I care what he thinks of me? He is nothing. Nothing but he bright eyed angel who brings me hope and believes that I can fight. No one but the first one in years that I like.

I like him. I like him. I LIKE him. I try it out in my tongue. I realize that I don't know his name. he is to me, just my innocent angel. Why is he on this sinful earth when it does not deserve him? I like a beautiful angel that probably hates me. I think of Sasuke Uchiha, who he defended against me. I have wronged. I have hurt a companion of my angel. Does Uchiha think of my angel as I do? I think not. No one can like my angle as I do. I like my angel. I like my angel's bright hair. I like his smile. I like how he defends the ones that are close to him. I like the marks on his face. I like his violet-blue eyes that softened for me. I like his blond, messy longish hair that makes me want to touch it-just to see how it feels. I like that he talks so much and his full red lips move so fast. I like that his baggy orange suit he wears hides how he is underneath. I like his beautiful graceful neck that turned to look at me. I like his long fingers that rake his hair. There is so much more I like. But the simple fact is I like him.


	3. Falling in Love

**Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto**

**"..." talking**

**'...'thinking(Gaara)**

**[....] Tanuki speaking to Gaara**

**Sorry if its not really detailed about events and if something is not right. Its been a long time. Hope you enjoy it. I would love review. Thanks**

Falling in Love

Four years, 12 hours 20 minutes 52 seconds have passed since I last saw him. Him being Uzumaki Naruto. The angel whose innocence I first hated. My sunshine boy whose bright hair I first liked. He saw me, the real me, when he first saw me, when out gazes met.

It is high summer and it is stifling hot in the Kazekage robes. I have tons of paperwork to do and it can get quite boring. I wonder if he had gotten back from his training with his sanin-sensei. If he has gotten back, has he thought of me? Does he know yet that I now hold the Kazekage title? I know how his face will contort with rage that I have it before him, and then he would smile from the bottom of his heart happy for me. After that, he would grow more determined to be Hokage, to achieve his dream of acknowledgement and respect from his people of Kanoha. Those pitiful people who don't deserve him.

Not a day has passed since that fateful day he saved me during the chunin exams that I haven't thought of him at one point or another be it day or night. He pulled me from the currents I floated in aimlessly and gave me something to believe in. He gave me hope. I took it and held steadfast to him. Not willing to let go. He believed in me. He became my hope, my light at the end of the tunnel and how bright he shines, I can't begin to describe.

One of the things that helped me get the title of Kazekage was the Tanuki. I know, I know what?! Yea, he's not really a bad guy…really. He and I have something in common. A goal and a strong fondness for Naruto. He looks over Naruto at (now I know what) the Kyuubi and I at Naruto. I do not know the relationship between the Tanuki and the Kyuubi, nor do I think I want to know. It's the way the Tanuki looks and sounds when he talks of the Kyuubi. He speaks with adoration and devotions clearly in his eyes. It is a bit disturbing seeing a blood-thirsty demon's eyes shining with little hearts and sparkles and flowers floating around him. But who am I to judge?

I think back on the day of chunin exams in the forest where I was fighting Sasuke. Naruto appeared as if he was falling out of the sky. And he defended Sasuke. Sasuke. Damn that Uchiha. How much he hurt my angel. That Uchiha left Naruto's friendship for the power from Orochimaru. I would give up everything for Naruto, my dazzling star that shines in the dark sky.

Before Naruto left for the training with the sanin we had kept in touch and sent letters to each other. His were always full of emotions, be they be sad, happy, depression. It was like everything he felt were poured into those letters and sent to me to sort out. Every time I read them, they made me feel thing I had never felt before. We stopped writing to each other after he started travelling. There have been long letters spaced out over months but none so far this year. It got too hard and I had too much work. But I have read his letter over and over again and never seem to grow tired of them. Also, the feeling I experienced the first time I read them never diminished.

It is too hot. I stood up to go open the window. Would it help? I saw my self reflected in the window. I had changed a lot. I wondered how Naruto must look now. My heart beat started going up. His hair was probably longer, his eyes blue, more versatile-maybe more purple than blue- he must have grown lither, taller, more beautiful. I mentally slapped myself. Was Naruto beautiful? Of course he was.

I looked up to the sky. Was that a huge white bird? Nah, wait, up, it was and wait what…the Akatsuki. [I guess they are here to get me and you. It was bound to happen.]

'Yes, I believe so.'

[Are we going to let it happen?]

'hell no'

[Right, we still haven't got what we wanted.]

Both Tanuki's and mine thoughts flashed to Naruto. I let slip a little smile. 'Yes.'

[You remember the plan?] He sounded excited.

'Of course" I sighed. 'I came up with it.'

[We came up with it kid.]

'Yea, I guess you helped a little.'

[Just a little? Are you kidding me? I was there the whole time WE came up with it.]

'Of course you were there the whole time. You are in my head.'

[Our head kid, our head]

'You are delusional.'

[Respect your elders.]

'You sound like a old man.'

[Dammit. You make me act this way.]

I let out a chuckle before he became serious again, 'Let's go.'

I flew up with my sand to meet the Akatsuki member. He had long blond hair and light blue eye…eyes? There is something over his other eye... which could not compete at all with Naruto's. 'If you're trying to imitate him, it's not working.'

[Tell me about it. Anyway I don't think right now is the right time to think about our beautiful Naru-chan]

'our Naru-chan?'

[We'll talk about this later.]

I nodded and the fight begun. As we fought, my thoughts went to my village. 'As their Kazekage, I have to protect them.'

I let the sand build a barrier around my beloved Suna. I put sand around myself but during a blind moment, the Akatsuki threw a bomb at me, it exploded. "Art's a Bang" I heard. What the hell is wrong with the guy? He's a nut job.

The Tanuki tried to help but couldn't assert his power for some reason; it had something to do with the bomb. My chakra was depleted after holding the sand barrier to the village. I used all my strength and chakra to pull away the sand from my village. I feel dizzy, weak. I let my self fall.

I am floating in whiteness. Who am I? I want to feel the boundaries of the white but I can't touch anything. What are these? Whose hands are these? There's a little boy a bit distance from me with red hair and holding a teddy bear. Why is he so sad? I feel empty. There's something missing inside of me. Whatam I forgetting? Yellow, a flash of yellow somewhere. It reminds me of something I love? What is love? Does anyone love me?

My chest expands. My heart fills up with feeling I can't tell. I start to tremble; there are so my, so many. I didn't know I could feel so much.

I am floating. I don't know how much time has passed. It is getting darker and darker. I keep holding on because of the bright flash. As it gets darker, the flash gets brighter and brighter, almost blinding me. Sometimes I see blue too; sparkling twinkling blue. It is like a oasis in my dry burning desert. I wish to drink from such from such a blue fountain. I reach for it, trying to grab it. I want it. I want the blue and the yellow flash and I want everything else that comes along with it. I don't just want it. I need it. I feel thirsty just thinking about it. I need a drink and for something… someone? … Fulfill me.

I am floating still. There is noting holding me down. I soar higher and higher trying to find a way out but nothing changes. It's the same everywhere. I am where I was before. It was where I am now. The white is gray now, getting darker. The flash and the blue appear one after another reminding me of something. I love that something or someone. I have accepted it but I want to know what or who I love. I love my bright blue. The blue changes too, getting darker into something more of violet and then lightens to the babies of the blues. From somewhere within me, there is something that says something is missing. The red. Where is the red? The red is a essential part of what the blue and yellow symbolize. Red, Blue, Yellow, the primary colors. Those make him who he is. He is them. They are him. Just like I am who I am with that someone deep inside of me is. We are us. No one can tear us apart.

My mind is wondering to the colors again. Him, it was a him. My bright was him. I love him. It feels right. I love his blueness and his brightness. Yellow like sunshine; my sunshine boy. I feel corners of mouth turning up to form a semblance of a smile. I love my sunshine boy.

It is getting darker, blacker. The sunshine flashes, the blue sky flashes and so does the red of my heart, my love.

Suddenly I am jerked off from there that was once here but where I am not now. The blackness is crumbling so is the whiteness. Now, there is something more. Texture, series and layers of color, sound light.

I open my eyes to find a pair of violet-blue pleading eyes. They are red-rimmed and fresh tears seemed to be pooling them. Naruto. His hair had grown longer. Messier, more spikier, making me itch to touch it. I was entranced in his eyes but I forced myself to look away.

"Gaara" His cleat voice rasped out, his voice reaching my ears faster than I was able to see his rosy lips move the word. I stared at them as they formed my name. My heart started its erratic beating once again and I grew warmer, hotter. I love him. I love Naruto. I really did. I love his smile. I love how he defends the ones that are close to him. I love the marks on his face. I love his violet-blue eyes that softened for me. I love his blond, messy longish hair that makes me want to touch it-just to see how it feels. I love that he talks so much and his full red lips move so fast. I love that his baggy orange suit he wears hides how he is underneath. I love his beautiful graceful neck that turned to look at me. I love his long fingers that rake his hair. I love that he cares. There is so much more I like. But the simple fact is I love him.

Now, I just have to tell him. There's nothing to it. I am not scared because nothing can change the fact that I love him. Even if he does not return my feelings I l will love him still. Now, the question is does he love me?


	4. Falling in Lust

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

**I want to thank NaruGaafan for the title of the story. Without you, the title would not have matched the story. *bow* Arigato!!!**

Falling in Lust

I can't really hear Shukaku anymore. I just can't hear him except for sometimes I think that I hear a faint voice calling to me but I just dismiss it as a dream. I am told that the Akatsuki extracted him from e, I was dead when the old lady Chiyo and Naruto saved me. I miss Shukaku but there is no way that the Akatsuki was able to take him from me all the way because his dreams and my dreams are the same and I know that I will be able to hear him clearly once more, I don't know when but it will happen. He is part of who I am.

When I woke up, I saw that I was surrounded by my people and the people of Kanoha together to save; I felt my heart expand, making me want to shout out. I did not know if my people actually cared for me or not before this moment. What made me the happiest though was seeing Naruto there, beside me, for if he was the only one there I would have felt just as happy anyway. I love him. I want to crack up into a grin whenever I think that. It feels so right.

I am such a coward. Couldn't I have given him a hug or something? Instead we shoot hands then parted ways. But still, when out hands me, electricity shot through my body, warming it up, making me feel hot and heavy. Did Naruto feel that way also? Or was it just me?

My love is growing and growing. Soon I'll not be able to keep this information to my self(that I love Naruto). I'll want more; the need to touch him grows; to run my hands across him silk like hair. To be close enough to breath in his scent, to hold his hands, to touch his face, to be close enough to touch my lips to his, to be closer still to intertwine out tongues, to be closer again to hear his heart beat synch with mine, to be close enough to feel him on every part of me (without any barriers), to never move from that place.

I slowly get up from my uncomfortable chair, making sure not to jostle around so much to hurt my tender hard-on. I stepped out of the room.

"Kazekage-sama" My guards bowed.

I inclined my head in return, hoping that they would not glance down and see what my kage robes were trying to hide. I felt warmth at my cheek and started hurrying to my chambers. I had to take a very cold (freezing) shower.

I looked up from the paperwork I was trying to finish up(in fact I'm really thinking about Naruto; should I visit Kanoha or should I invite him here? I really want to see him.) There was a knock at the door, one of the guards quietly slipped in and announced, "There's been a disturbance at the front gates. An unauthorized personnel trying to get in states that you know who he is and if told you would, I quote "beat the crap" out of anyone who refused to let him in. He has a big mop of blond hair, is extremely loud—"

"Let him in." I nearly shouted, trying to hide my smile. He was here. But why? I couldn't care less why, just that he's here. I want to jump with joy.

I try to get back to the paperwork but my hands are shaking in anticipation of seeing my sunshine. My pen is now tapping on the table; I force my self to stop. I started to take a deep breath when he burst in, bringing his radiance in, lighting up the whole room. He looked more beautiful then ever. He had not yet got a hair cut, which gave him a wild unattainable look, his bright blue eyes were shining, which made him look vulnerable, like something ready to be caught.

I tried to speak, forgetting to breath, "Na--"

I started to choke, coughing. Dammit, how I want to cry. I look so uncool. I heard "Gaara, Are you okay?" But his voice and everything else disappeared as all I was aware of was that his hands on the either side of my shoulders, his face inches away from mine.

I stopped choking, after taking the glass of water, he offered. "I'm okay." I tried to reply nonchalantly, but still away that he hadn't removed his hands from me. No, he had moved them to my shoulder blade, moving in a circular motion. I guess that he was trying to calm me, but that's not the effect it had, not that I was complaining. I I let out a small moan, after trying hard to keep it in. I hope, I hope that he didn't hear it. I felt my cheeks growing warm again.

His hands grew still. I want to scream, yell, and throw a fit. I didn't want him to stop. Who told him to stop? Why did he stop?

He lifted his hands away from me, still there but not touching me. I leaned into his hands, yearning his touch. I felt his questioning gaze on my face, but I did not look up at him, instead choosing to focus on my hands, clasped on my lab.

I felt his gaze on me again, this time daring me to look at him. I I turned my face up, defiant- I was stunned by how close out faces were; my nose touched his. He tilted his face, moving closer. I did the same. In slow seconds after what felt like eternity and forever, our lips met, electricity began to pound through me, more so than last time. I heard Naruto groan as the back of his throat. So, it wasn't just me. I pulled him into my lap, his legs on either side of my hips. My lips began to move furiously wanting more, needing more, never getting enough. His hands move to clutch at my robes, holding on for dear life. My arms circled his back then moved downwards to his delightful behind. I laid them here, then wanting to do more, I gave him a squeeze. He gasped, letting my tongue take refuge into his damp cavern, where he hid treasures. Our tongues battled, both of us wanting to take control. I brought my hands to his hair, buried them and gave him a yank so he was closer to me; I demanded to be top, he backed away into his mouth, shutting his precious, kicking me out. I coaxed him out, loving him and showing it all with my tongues and my lips. He put his arms around me and broke off the kiss. I leaned into him, to keep the kiss going but he put his finger to my lips stopping me. I grudgingly opened my eyes to see the most beautiful sight. Naruto, ruffled and flustered(I had caused that!), his cheeks flushed, his eyes a deep violet and dilated. I leaned into him again, he came closer too, out lips barely touching, "I love you" was whispered.

I don't know which one of us said it.

Now, I have him. I took Naruto. I really did. I have his smile. I have the marks on his face. I have his violet-blue eyes that softened for me and later darkened in desire. I have his blond, messy longish hair that I can touch when ever I want wherever I want. I have his red cherry lips that talk too much, but now I can shut him up with a touch of mine lips. I have his baggy orange suit he wears that hides how he is underneath because when he is with me he does not need it for I always want to see his body in all its glory. I have his beautiful graceful neck that I marked with red; they disappear too fast, then I have to mark him again as mine, as mine only. I have his long fingers that wander around my body, lingering here and there. There is so much more I have of him. There's too much to tell, but the fact is that I have HIM.

And the one thing I know more clearly then how much I love him is that we belong together, forever and ever, in the floating white where colors sparkle.

ok...I think this is it. it is the end. I believe.


End file.
